Mothers Are the Central Nervous System to Babies

+ how to tune the mother into your nervous system

Within the new world of motherhood, as she births a new life and begins a deep transformation of her own, one becomes two, but their whole nervous system stays synced, each one reflecting and balancing how the other feels.

The Bond During Pregnancy

During pregnancy, the mother’s nervous system serves as a vital connection to the developing baby, creating a beautiful bond that shapes the baby’s environment.

Every sensation experienced by the mother—from the sound of her voice to the gentle movements—profoundly influences the growing baby.

There’s an interesting blog post in connection with this here: Bonding With Your Baby Before Birth — Sage House Therapy

This prenatal period lays the groundwork for the special bond between mother and child, with studies showing that babies can recognise their mother’s voice and respond to her emotions.

Additionally, the release of hormones like oxytocin enhances this bond, preparing both mother and child for the journey ahead.

The influence that a mother has on her child, and vice versa, extends far beyond psychology. The mother and the child’s energy and regulation is literally matched, it’s the foundation of how the baby begins to learn about the world.

It’s how the babies get their needs met, but is also how the mothers system is giving her innate clues to what she needs, in order to regulate herself. This in turn will regulate her child. 

Have you ever wondered why your whole system surges with anxiety and panic, when your baby cries?

This is the physiological response that’s innate in animals, supporting the mother to have a primal understanding of how to meet their babies needs, for a successful survival.

Let’s come back to the power of our nervous system for a moment, and how it floods us with hormones including adrenaline in the times of danger, so that we can keep ourselves and our young safe.

Through the activation of the fight, flight or freeze responses, our body prepares for the next steps to ensure our safety.

Although this is an incredibly natural response, the part of our brain which activates us (the Amygdala) isn’t able to assess the difference between a real threat, or a perceived threat. 

So, because the responsibility of this part of the brain is to keep you safe, it needs to act, and fast. The thinking brain turns off, and cannot turn back on until we’re regulated.

Because our babies’ only way of understanding the world is through their bonding and syncing of us, their ability to pick up on our inner experience, is very delicate. 

Which can lead to our children feeling the depth of what we are, with us being the ones to support them in their regulation.

This is not me trying to pass out mother guilt, as we all know how activating motherhood can be within this day and age.

This is a way to underline the sensitivity of our nervous system as human beings, and the power we have to co-regulate with our children.

We can support them in strengthening their nervous system, so that they can grow independently from us as their mothers, and they can bring themselves back to the present moment each time they become activated.

We can begin to create a felt sense of safety within their bodies, by tuning the mother into our nervous system.

In other words, to mother the mother, just like you wholesomely mother your child.

Mothering the Mother:

Recognising and honouring the profound impact of maternal influence involves providing support and resources for the mother to thrive in her many ever changing roles into matrescence.

This means creating spaces where mothers can seek support, share experiences, and access resources for their physical and mental health. By offering support and understanding, we foster a culture of care and compassion that benefits the entire family. 

When mothers feel supported and empowered, they can nurture healthy relationships within their families and communities.

By recognising the challenges that mothers face and providing the necessary support, we build stronger, more resilient families.

This involves fostering a culture of care and compassion for mothers, ensuring they feel valued and empowered in their transformation.

Mothering the mother ripples out to the whole world.

Honouring the Mother-Child Bond

At the heart of it all lies the special bond between mother and child, strengthened through care and support. By acknowledging the connection between mother and child, we create an environment where every child can grow and thrive in a nurturing and supportive atmosphere. This bond serves as a source of comfort and guidance for both mother and child as they journey through life together.

How do we Mother the Mother, and tune her nurturing essence into our nervous systems?

Practice Self-Compassion: 

Remember to be kind to yourself and offer yourself grace during these challenging times.

Prioritise Rest: 

Make sleep a priority and taking short breaks throughout the day to recharge.

Nourish the Body: 

Allow yourself to eat nutritious foods that fuel your body and provides sustained energy.

Move the Body: 

Engage in physical activities that you enjoy, such as walking, dancing, or yoga, to release tension, embody your emotions and boost your mood.

Set Boundaries: 

Honour yourself by establishing boundaries to protect your time and energy, saying no to activities or commitments that drain you.

Engage in Relaxation Techniques: 

Encourage practices like deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation to reduce stress and promote calmness. You can find a thorough resource with practices to regulate yourself here: Motherhood Regulation Practices Blog.

 Or, you can find resources for children’s mindfulness practices here: Mindfulness Practices to nurture children Blog Post.

Connect with Nature: 

Spend time outdoors, whether it’s taking a walk in the park or simply sitting in the backyard, to rejuvenate and reconnect with the natural world.

Pursue Hobbies: 

Support yourself in pursuing activities you enjoy, whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or playing an instrument, as a way to unwind and nurture your creativity.

Reconnect with a Village: 

I encourage you to reach out to friends, family, or other mothers in your community for support and camaraderie. Join local parenting groups, attend community events, or organise playdates to build connections and share experiences with other parents.

Outsource Support: It’s okay to ask for help and suggest reaching out to a therapist, counsellor or coach if they’re struggling with their mental health. This is the highest form of self care.