Motherhood Unplugged: How to embrace balance within the wild- (Find your FREE GUIDE Inside.)

Bonnie Knapton

January 31, 2024

Motherhood is often seen as the ultimate role for women, one that is filled with love, joy, and fulfilment. However, the reality is far from this idealised image.  While being a mother brings immense joy, it also comes with a lot of challenges and hard work. Unfortunately, the hard work of motherhood is often overlooked and not fully appreciated by society.

In our modern society, the demanding and often overlooked responsibilities of motherhood, especially for stay-at-home mothers handling a multitude of household tasks, including managing the home, cooking, chores, errands, education, and providing full-time care to their children, can escape the recognition they deserve. It’s intriguing to consider the paradox: within the professional world, performing equivalent responsibilities would be deemed a job encompassing various challenging tasks. However, when fulfilling the vital role of a mother, these exact duties are sometimes viewed merely as obligations, with little room for acknowledgment or expression of concerns. This raises questions about societal stereotypes and the need for a more comprehensive understanding of the complexities of motherhood.

 In fact, many mothers experience burnout and postpartum depression due to the lack of support, understanding, and appreciation for their role. In this blog post, we’ll be looking at the true depth of motherhood within our modern day, and how this contributes to the prevalence of burnout and postpartum depression among mothers. We will also explore the importance of self-care and provide 5 nervous system regulation practices for mothers and their children.

Mothers undertake a myriad of roles – caregiver, cook, housekeeper, teacher, nurse, chauffeur, and more. These tasks, while integral to motherhood, often go unrecognised as hard work. Society’s normalisation of the belief that mothers effortlessly manage it all disregards the significant physical, emotional, and mental toll.

These responsibilities include physical demands like chores, meal prep, and transportation, leading to exhaustion. Emotionally, providing care, guidance, and support is overwhelming. The mental strain of multitasking and decision-making adds another layer of fatigue. The societal expectation that mothers bear the majority of parenting work in relationships intensifies these challenges.

On top of this, the struggle for personal time compounds the difficulty. Mothers often find it challenging to carve out moments for themselves, impacting well-being. The lack of energy or motivation for activities like exercise, healthy eating, adventure, or trying new things further adds to the complexity of their daily lives.

Notably, the raw truth that babies need their mothers more exacerbates the workload, due to carrying their babies within their bodies for 9 months, and if you are breastfeeding, this is all the more true, making it challenging for mothers to prioritise self-care. Understanding these intricate challenges is crucial, shedding light on the need for support, empathy, and equal sharing of responsibilities. 

The Lack of Appreciation and Understanding

Mothers often find themselves in a position of underappreciation and misunderstanding within society, facing a range of challenges that extend beyond their sacrifices and hard work. The lack of acknowledgment can lead to profound feelings of resentment, isolation, and burnout, creating an emotional burden that is both exhausting and draining.

Moreover, societal expectations, fueled by unrealistic portrayals, place immense pressure on mothers. The idealised image of a flawless and selfless mother sets unattainable standards, making it challenging for mothers to navigate their roles. This pressure contributes to a pervasive sense of failure, fostering feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

Adding to the complexity, mothers often experience a form of segregation within society, with pressures on mothers to conform. Expectations may confine them to traditional roles, urging them to stay at home, comply with specific norms, and participate only in designated mother-centric activities, such as mother’s groups. This confinement amplifies the challenges mothers face, limiting their autonomy and reinforcing societal expectations that can be both restrictive and isolating, adding to the motherhood challenges we face.

The Importance of Self-Care for Mothers

The false belief that motherhood ‘isn’t challenging’ stems from a stark lack of societal support. Mothers often navigate the demanding landscape of parenting without adequate assistance, expected to fulfil endless responsibilities independently. This relentless expectation can lead to overwhelming exhaustion, contributing to burnout and postpartum depression, when all a mother needs is to be held and seen as independent from her role as mother.

Recognizing the impact of this lack of support, it becomes essential for mothers to actively prioritise herself through emotional self-care and holistic self love. Contrary to common belief, self-care for mothers is not a luxury but a fundamental necessity for well-being. Practical and realistic self-care practices can include carving out brief breaks for relaxation and listening to the body, engaging in activities that bring joy, and fostering connections with friends or local communities. It’s also vital for a mothers presence to stay with her spiritual self care, if this is something that’s always supported her journey. These practices play a crucial role in recharging mothers both physically and emotionally, enhancing their resilience in the face of the challenges that motherhood presents.

Physical well-being is equally vital, with simple yet effective practices such as incorporating short bouts of exercise into daily routines and ensuring proper nutrition. These realistic self-care practices are manageable within the constraints of a busy schedule, making them feasible for mothers striving to balance various responsibilities.

Encouraging support from loved ones and communities is also pivotal in lightening the burden mothers often carry alone. This support can take the form of open conversations about experiences, validating feelings, and sharing practical responsibilities. It’s essential to emphasise that self-care is not a selfish act but a necessity, enabling mothers to better fulfil their roles within their families.

Nervous System Regulation Practices for Mothers and Children

In order to cope with the demands of motherhood and prevent burnout and postpartum depression, it is important for mothers to find ways to regulate their nervous systems. This can help them manage stress, emotions, and energy levels. Some practices that can be helpful include deep breathing, yoga, mindful self-compassion, and self-care days. These practices can also be beneficial for children, helping them regulate their own nervous system and promoting overall well-being. This is truly the foundation of our health, especially as mothers when we are on overdrive and overstimulated each day, which can lead to too much cortisol going into our systems. This is why I’ve created a free guide with 5 nervous system regulation exercises to support mothers in becoming calmer, more mindful, less activated and more empowered within their bodies, WITH their children. – Yes, that’s right! These were created for you both to do together, as I understand more than anyone, how difficult it is to find the time away from our young children.  

Conclusion

In conclusion, motherhood is not just about love and joy; it is also about hard work and sacrifice. The lack of appreciation, understanding, stereotypes, and support in society can contribute to feelings of burnout and postpartum depression among mothers. It is important for society to recognise and appreciate the hard work of mothers, and for mothers to prioritise self-care and seek support when needed. As mothers, we should remember that we were never meant to be doing every role by ourselves. 

We are supposed to be living in tribes, a whole village supporting us to take care of our children in the most present, calm and connecting way. Seeing as this is now difficult in our current time, I have decided to bring the power of this back, through my words, through building community, sharing my learnings, and my own journey to conscious motherhood. Let’s take care of our children first, taking care of ourselves. I believe this is the secret to making positive change for our future generations to come. 

If you are a mother struggling with burnout or postpartum depression, or simply looking for ways to regulate your nervous system, I invite you to download my FREE GUIDE for 5 Nervous System Regulation Practices for mothers and children. 

If you are experiencing Postpartum Grief, I welcome you to read this blog post here to support you during this time: ‘The Journey to Your New Self: Normalising Postpartum Grief‘’