Forgiveness Is the Answer
Ho’Oponopono: A traditional Hawaiian forgiveness practice
How can we expect peace around us, when there’s a war within?
What is occurring inside of me, that I project and contribute to my outer world?
I’ve been asking myself these questions lately on my journey to forgiveness. Forgiveness for myself, and others and unconditional love for the faulty toxicity that can be found within this human experience.
These prompts support me when activation surges through my being, and I hope they do the same for you. It’s empowering to realise it’s only you that you have control over, bringing clarity to the power you have within you to create the life you want for yourself, starting with the relationship you have with yourself and others.
Perfection isn’t a goal here, this term bears no weight to the human experience. This is an impossible aim for anyone, and shouldn’t even be a term, in my opinion, least of all one we should strive for.
You will react. You will become activated. This is the innate animalistic alarm system being set off inside of, alerting you to where your system doesn’t feel safe. You’ll feel intensely. That’s so damn beautiful. The pain, the sorrow, the childlike joy, and sometimes you may life within the spectrum of depression.
You will ebb and flow endlessly through the pure connection and the disconnect. There is a limitless scale you have access to in this life. You’ll make countless mistakes. You’ll be forever learning. This is living, dear one.
It’s all about taking conscious responsibility for what’s here, within you— your body is so intelligent, it presents you with all the clues you need to heal and embody your primal instincts.
The fiery activation you feel at times is what sends a message to your body, creating a concoction of hormones in order to prepare you for what’s coming.
Try to look at this as a reflection, a clue to what needs your attention. Ask yourself: What inside me needs honouring?
Rather than projecting and internalising this onto your sense of self, or the harm that someone else has done to you, honour the depth of your experience and ask yourself what this is triggering in you.
Where weren’t you met as a child? What spaces aren’t you meeting yourself, now? What do you need? What are you withholding?
You are harming yourself day by day, by internalising another’s behaviour, or life’s random happenings, as something that’s your own.
These words, their judgement, those stereotypes, those roles, the expectations, the conditioning…
It doesn’t belong to you.
They were given to you, by another who has too, felt pain, sorrow and neglect within this life. Unmeaningfully, they have passed on the projections that those closest to them held to their inner and outer experiences.
We are reflections of each other. Each time I hear another’s story, I see my own. Each time I see their scars, I feel my own. I am within everyone. Our blood runs through the same earth.
We will be connected in unity forever. We are a family. A family that struggles with amnesia surrounding this truth. We learn from each and every situation and person we’re faced with. Especially the pain. Oh yes, the pain. The pain will offer wisdom beyond your years.
Set the intention to yourself… What is this teaching me?
How can I forgive myself, and all those I’ve held grief for?
From the first moment I heard the words ‘Ho’oponopono’, I was struck. My heart slowed and I felt my feet upon the earth. It soothed my pain, and it helped me to feed forgiveness to myself, and those who I was so conflicted with. I was so immersed in the harm they had caused me, that I hadn’t stopped to ask if it was them that was causing me harm, or was it me?
No, no, dear one. Not a blame game. But a loving question. Have I truly been harmed?
It’s such a simple mantra, one born from Hawaii, called ‘Ho’oponopono’, which underlines the power in releasing the grief we hold onto, and seeing each person as the same as us.
‘Ho’oponopono’, means to say sorry to yourself for the pain you’ve given to yourself and all those that you may have contributed to their pain.
It means to deeply ask forgiveness from yourself for the turmoil you’ve allowed, and to ask for forgiveness from those you may have inflicted with your projections.
It means to give a deep thanks to yourself. To be grateful for this experience to feel, listen, touch and be a vital part of this life. To give gratitude for all you have endured, and all you have contributed.
It means to give an unwavering gratitude to those who have touched your life, even if for a moment. Even if it was a painful lesson, that left you with a resource. To give thanks for their contribution.
And to love. ‘I love you.’ are the words of honouring who you are, mind, body, skin and soul. To give love for the child inside of you, the person you are within this present moment, all versions who have been and gone, and those who are on their way.
This means to give love to those who surround you. Those who are involved in a highly charged situation with you right now. Those who trigger aspects of you. To give love and forgiveness to others, is to ultimately give it to ourselves. but hearing the song reminded me of what my humane amnesia had stolen from me.
I’m so sorry,
Please forgive me,
I thank you
I love you
(soften the body and repeat for 10 minutes at a time, twice a day for the best results.)
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