The Power of Support: 5 Ways Your Birth Partner Can Transform Your Birth Experience
One of the most important contributions to a simple, organic and calm birth, is to have our space protected by a birth partner who inspires these feelings of safety and nourishment within us as birthing individuals.
If we learn to strip out the complicated belief systems, and practices, and turn to face our history, we can learn alot about the smooth transition that can occur when we birthing women are nurtured to feel safe and un-observed.
The impact of feeling unsafe during childbirth is vividly illustrated in the behaviours of animals. Instinctively, animals have the ability to pause their birth process when gripped by fear. They instinctively seek out a secluded and dimly lit space, crafting a secure environment when they are ready to bring new life into the world.
10,000 years ago, when we lived instinctively, women would birth on their own, or alongside other women, within their natural habitats. The men protected their space, and guarded the cave, ensuring there was nothing around that could cause a risk to mother and baby.
It is only when the birthing women felt with all of their senses that it was safe, that she would have applied her subconscious to progress the birth.
They would come to this feeling of safety with the support of the birthing partner being a protective shield,
Therefore, this underlines the profound power of having the birth partner within view.
Your birth Partner doesn’t need to be your romantic partner. Of course not everyone has a partner on these terms. A birth Partner is anyone who helps you to feel loved. Someone who you deeply trust and you feel safe with. Someone who you trust to be your sacred advocate when you’re carried away into your birthing cave and your thinking brain is switched off to the world.
1) They Can Reinforce the Unique Wishes of the Birthing Mother
Due to the precious and at times vulnerable state that the birthing woman is led into through the different stages of labour, the power of birth partners protecting the space includes reinforcing the unique wishes of the birthing woman.
When they are too occupied working with their body and their baby within their peaceful state of subconscious to think logistically.
They become your voice if any talk of “hurrying things along” or the potential conversation surrounding medical intervention comes up, by setting secure boundaries around your unique wishes.
They are also there to help you understand why this may need to happen.
2) They are the Mother’s Positive Reinforcement
A Birthing Partner is there to reaffirm and guide you through your hypnobirthing practices if there was ever a moment you began to get stressed, tired or uncomfortable and lost your way with your instincts or hypnobirthing toolbox.
When we are overtired and uncomfortable within active labour, we can forget and struggle to articulate the practices that soothe our system and bring us back to our body.
This is why it’s so important for your birthing partner to be with you on this journey through pregnancy and birth, including attending any Hypnobirthing classes with you, so that they are equipped with the same Hypnobirthing tool box and practices as you.
As I stated previously, the concoction of birthing hormones take the birthing mother to a meditative space where the logical, thinking part of her mind turns off, so the Birthing Partner is here to be the mothers advocate and mindful motivator to keep her present and nurtured through the experience.
The importance of getting the birth partner involved in hypnobirthing, (therefore the birth which mama envisions) means that they can be the positive anchor when the birthing woman is experiencing this challenging transformation.
This means staying present to the teachings of hypnobirthing and letting go of any damaging beliefs you may have picked up from outdated research, morphed media or traumatic stories of others, so you can be the constant reminder and conscious partner to the birthing mother.
By attending and getting involved with the hypnobirthing classes/literature, asking questions which you are unsure or concerned about regarding pregnancy and labour help you to support the mother to make informed decisions.
3) Ensuring the Foundational Needs of Mother are Met
The birth partner can be your support in trying a range of different active birth positions which help to support the smooth arrival of the baby, and of course prioritise the comfort of the mother. This may
include walking, dancing, swaying, massage, a warm bath, or hand holding.
This goes hand-in-hand with ensuring the foundational needs of mamma are taken care of; including healthy and energising nutrition, hydration and comfort, and understanding that this will constantly change throughout the different stages of birth.
4) Crafting Calm
The Birthing Partner is here to read the relaxation scripts, visualisation, affirmations and all other practices that help to support the mother to feel calm.
Take a mental note of the expressions and peaceful reinforcement which works well to calm the birthing women – as well as the opposite… What doesn’t she resonate with?
It’s helpful to assist the birthing woman to write the affirmations which are compatible with the way she thinks, and getting creative with them, whether this means sticking them around the house, saying them to her, listening to them, recording yourself saying them, or texting them even. Ensure you are listening to the relaxation scripts and have a regular practice of the breathing techniques daily.
5) Postpartum Support
Going through the immense transformation of birth to holding your newborn, is a surreal, indescribable experience of love, awe and curiosity, but there is nothing a woman needs more during this time than to be mothered herself.
She is sore, her body is changing, her role and identity is changing, she is exhausted and navigating her new body and baby.
A Birth Partner is here to ensure the mother is getting the rest she deserves, the nutrition and hydration she needs, as well as the emotional support and unconditional understanding for the vulnerability of this time.
Never judging or rushing her to be anywhere or do anything other than soak in her oxytocin bubble and to support her with navigating this new life. This is all the more true if you are a couple who have both gone through a huge life change.
For those Birth Partners who may not be fully present to the idea of hypnobirthing, I’m here to correct a very common judgement of the practices being “too hippy”, “mind control”, “magic tricks” or “nonsense”.
Hypnobirthing teachings are actually incredibly founded on logistics, scientific proof, physiology, real life experiences, history and the health boards within the proximity where any Hypnobirthing courses are held.
Listening to the desires of the birthing woman, as well as the benefits these practices will have on a calm birth, and you’ll see the positive effect this will have on the mother and child.
I ask you to read the positive hypnobirthing stories out there! (Especially from the point of view of the father/birth partner)
Perception and confidence is powerful, and as some of the learnings within hypnobirthing will show you, we mirror each other as human beings, especially when we care about someone, therefore our positive beliefs and feelings are infectious! So let’s project more of that.
It is a historical knowledge that fathers have often been guided to watch on the side, or even not be within the birthing space at all, leaving the medical professionals to do it all.
Now is the time to reinforce that times have changed and we now realise the distinctive, amazing contribution that a birth partner has by getting involved with the needs of the birthing women and their baby- and holding their space, rather than leaving them to it.
When a birth partner (especially another parent) takes on an active role within the birth of the child, this leads to an even deeper bond to their child, as well as the mamma.
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