Nervous System Regulation Techniques for Mothers

As we’re becoming more attuned with the state of our bodies within the generation we’re living in, deeper research has been conducted into the vast physiological, mental and physical processes that create our inner environment. This includes our feelings, reactions, behaviours and thought processes.

Tn advocating for maternal mental health, there’s a growing awareness of the impact of a mother’s dysregulated nervous system. This blog offers insights into normalizing dysregulation in motherhood and provides practical techniques for self-soothing through physical, somatic, breath, and mindfulness practices.

What is the Nervous System?

Let’s talk about something super important: your nervous system. It’s like a giant network of tiny wires in your body that helps everything work together smoothly.

So, inside you, there are lots of nerve cells called neurons. They send messages around your body using little electrical signals. These messages control everything from your thoughts to your digestion to how you feel.

Your brain is like the boss of all these neurons, but they’re spread out everywhere, even in your organs. They help run the show for things like breathing, thinking, and feeling emotions. When your nervous system has been dis-regulated for too long, you can feel burnt-out, anxious, depressed, and can struggle to think clearly.

Now, there are two main parts of your nervous system: the parasympathetic and sympathetic branches. They work together to keep things balanced and healthy. They control everything from your heartbeat, to your breathing, but don’t worry, you have some control over them too!

So, it’s like having two friends inside you, making sure everything’s running smoothly, and giving you clues if it’s not. It’s a really intelligent gift, even if it doesn’t feel like it when you’re dis-regulated.

The Nervous System is our foundation as human beings, controlling our mentality consisting of our learning, thoughts and our memory. It also has the vast responsibility of ensuring homeostasis is regulated. Homeostasis is what it means to have a balance between all the body systems needed for the body to survive and function correctly.

When your nervous system is dis-regulated, it can really harm your mood and how well you think.

Studies show that 100% of children with a dysregulated nervous system struggle with feeling sad, anxious, or agitated.

If you’ve ever had PTSD or panic attacks, you might have noticed your heart racing or your breathing feeling off. It’s like your body’s stress response is stuck in overdrive.

Sleep problems, a foggy memory, and even conditions like ADHD can be linked to a haywire nervous system. This is because cortisol and adrenaline keep getting pumped out, making you feel more stressed and messing with your sleep and mood.

These hormones can also mess with your brain, making it harder to remember things or think clearly.

Do You Have a Dysregulated Nervous System?

Everyone get’s dysregulated, it’s the foundation of adapting to our ever-changing inner and outer environments as human beings.

We must accept that we cannot escape chronic stress in our increasingly stressful environment. The inflexible work ethic, constant rushing, financial burdens, conflicting advice, and lack of support contribute to it all.

Those who have experience with burn-out, chronic stress, trauma, mental health conditions and hormonal imbalances are all the more sensitive to a dysregulated Nervous System.

A Mother’s Nervous System is So Sensitive

This is exactly why a mother’s nervous system is so sensitive. In the modern day we’re living in, having a child goes hand-in-hand with being dysregulated.

Here’s where I tell you, this is not about being a mother to our beautiful children that inspire unconditional love, immense growth and connection within our lives.

It is not being a mother per se, that induces chronic stress. It is what surrounds it within a society not made for her anymore.

This is the symptom of a society that doesn’t offer the support that was once the foundation of motherhood, when we lived in community and raised our children as a village.

Interestingly enough, being a mother can actually help to soothe our nervous system, due to the power of co-regulation with our children, and the mindful motivation we have to commit to the wellbeing of ourselves, for our children.

Without further ado, a Mother’s Nervous System is So Sensitive Because:

1. Our nervous system links up to our children’s. As they struggle to regulate theirs, we can end up mirroring or projecting their state outwardly.

2. If you’ve experienced childhood trauma or birth trauma, being a mother can trigger the same fight, flight, + freeze responses.

3. Mothers spend a lot of their time sleep deprived – this is one of the foundations of regulation. I hadn’t slept through the night for 2 years prior to recently!

4.Mothers may not have the time, space, energy, or support to regulate themselves with rest, creativity, + regulation practices.

5. We were never supposed to raise our children alone. We are hardwired for connection. Even in healthy families, the mother tends to carry the bulk of responsibilities for the children, and it can be rare to have a village surrounding you.

A mothers nervous system can become easily dysregulated under the weight and responsibility of playing many roles, whilst ensuring the survival and holistic health of their child and themselves.

Did you know that motherhood is comparable to having 2.5 full-time jobs?

That’s 98 hours per week.

Now imagine doing this on 1-3 hours of sleep every night, without adequate nutrition or health, due to the fact in those early years… It can be such a challenge to find time and energy.

So , give yourself immense gratitude as a mother for the staggering hard work, commitment, and pure grit you contribute in the name of love.

The fact that we carry so much responsibility (enough for a village) is one of the main attributes to a dysregulated nervous system.

Usually, a mother of a young child isn’t sleeping, exercising, or eating well, which are all foundations of holistic health.

Being pregnant, having a baby, breastfeeding, and not sleeping and eating well all lead to an imbalance in hormones, which rarely balance out until we stop breastfeeding, begin to have regular sleep through the night, are exercising and eating well.

This is a huge aspect to why a mothers nervous system is so sensitive to dysregulation, as our hormones are directly connected to the harmony of our whole system, meaning this is more likely for women as a whole, with our ever-changing cycles and menopause.

Trauma and The Nervous System

This is even more accentuated if you’ve experienced trauma of any kind. My own experience with childhood and birth trauma plays the main role in my dis-regulation as a mother.

I completely relate to any mothers out there, who are also managing ADHD and PTSD, as they’ve been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

These challenges, stemming from deep-rooted childhood trauma, led me down a path of constant exhaustion, battling depression, anxiety, and enduring frequent panic attacks for many years.

When I became pregnant and later faced postpartum depression after having my first child, it felt like the weight of these struggles became heavier.

However, delving into understanding my nervous system became a turning point for me. I realised that being a mother added an extra layer of sensitivity to my already sensitive system.

I began to rewire my mind by putting an end to the internal blaming, and chose to be incredibly gentle and compassionate with myself, recognizing that it’s perfectly normal, and is actually how my body is leaving me clues to what parts of me need extra support.

This shift in mindset laid the foundation for breaking free from the cycle of turmoil. I began implementing practices aimed at regulating my nervous system, which ultimately allowed me to co-regulate with my child.

Now, I’m able to model healthy regulation during times of stress, setting the stage for a positive emotional and physical future for both my child and myself.

It’s been a journey, but finding peace and joy in motherhood amidst the challenges has been incredibly rewarding.

And I’m excited to share some of these practices with you, in the hope that they might bring you the same sense of empowerment, resilience and peace they’ve brought me.

When we begin to switch off from the attachment to our suffering and realise that we have control over our bodies, we can begin to tune into the clues that it’s giving us.

What is it telling you? Do you need more rest? More support? Movement? Creativity? Play? Alone time? Connection? Nature?

What can soothe my nervous system that’s accessible for me with my child in tow?

The Opposite of Dysregulation is Expression

As mothers, we often find ourselves pulled in many directions, juggling endless tasks and responsibilities. Within the wilderness of motherhood, it’s easy to neglect our own well-being, leading to a dysregulated nervous system and heightened stress levels.

One of the most powerful practices for regulating our nervous system is honouring that the opposite of dis-regulation is expression.

This means allowing ourselves the space and freedom to express our emotions, thoughts, and needs in healthy ways.

Too often, we suppress our feelings or put on a brave face, believing that we must always appear strong and composed for our families. However, this suppression only adds to our internal turmoil, exacerbating stress and tension, and will actually contribute to the dysregulation of our family unit.

Instead, we can benefit greatly from acknowledging and expressing our emotions authentically. Whether it’s through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, finding a women’s circle, community group, mother and baby group, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music, finding avenues for expression can help release your emotions and reconnect you to yourself and others.

As human beings, we are all hard wired to feel safe and grounded in nature. Especially when we choose to be mindful in nature. Forest bathing is simply being quiet, slow, and mindful amongst the trees. Pay attention to each step, and observe nature around you whilst deep breathing. Guide your child to water, to mud, and try to sit in reflection for what’s around you.

Stamp your feet onto the ground repeatedly. If your child is old enough to understand (or to copy!), get them to follow your lead. Children do this instinctively when they’re dysregulated to move the stagnant energy and emotions through them. This is so healthy! Shake Your whole body, from your head, to your arms and legs for 5 minutes. You may feel silly, but this is a powerful practice, not to mention playfulness is also an amazing way to regulate ourselves and our children!

Making a big ‘psychological sigh’ regulates our nervous systems and alleviates stress

• Two short inhales through the nose

•One long exhale through the mouth

• Repeat one to three times

A Cold Shower

I understand it may sound daunting at first, but hear me out. Cold showers have this incredible knack for waking up not just your body, but your nervous system too.

I have my normal warm shower, and then when I’m finished, I turn the temperature to as cold as I can manage (with it being able to shock you, as this is what we need in order to reset our nervous systems) for 1-2 minutes, working yourself up to more as you include this into your day-to-day.

When the icy water hits your skin, it sends a shockwave of signals racing through your body, triggering a response that activates your sympathetic nervous system.

This kickstarts a cascade of physiological reactions that help boost circulation, revitalise your energy levels, and yes, regulate your nervous system.

It’s like hitting the reset button for your mind and body, leaving you feeling invigorated and ready to take on whatever the day throws your way. So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and dysregulated, consider stepping into the cold – your nervous system will thank you for it!

If you’d like to hear more about some powerful practices that you can do to regulate your nervous system, as well as your child’s, you can download my FREE guide here: